Matt Taibbi is the greatest who has ever been. That’s just a given. In the latest issue of Rolling Stone he explains how Goldman Sachs might as well be our government, for all intents and purposes. I’ll be honest, I wanted it to be more engrossing than it was. But I think I just zone out when people start talking about financial matters. However, Taibbi is probably the funniest living political writer, and how can you resist an article that includes gems like this:

In fact, at least $13 billion of the taxpayer money given to AIG in the bailout ultimately went to Goldman, meaning that the bank made out on the housing bubble twice: It fucked the investors who bought their horseshit CDOS by betting against its own crappy product, then it turned around and fucked the taxpayer by making him pay off those same bets.

Unfortunately, the entire article is not online, which is 90% of the reason I still subscribe to Rolling Stone (the other 10% is because of their stellar Jonas Brothers reporting). You can read excerpts here, or you can stop being a cheapskate and just buy the damn thing.

From an email by Benton entitled “Uzbeks as Realists”:

A friend of mine went to the Uzbek Embassy in Vienna to get a visa and found a stack of these pamphlets next to the visa application forms:

I don’t know who Katy Perry is. (Full disclosure: I know exactly who Katy Perry is.) But apparently she Tweeteringed this picture of herself in a bathtub eating pizza.

Which, I don’t think there is anything grosser than eating in the bathtub. This is 75% of the reason that Gummo is disturbing. The other 25% is because that kid’s rabbit ears are so filthy.

Anyway, gross on you, Katy Perry.

PS I just subscribed to your Twitter feed.

Huffington Post linked to this article today with the awe-inspiring headline:

Michael Jackson could not sing, was gay, was skeletal: writer

I’m not on hiatus, I’m just working. I’ll get back to you soon, blog friends. Here are some fresh old things.

In conclusion: Dinosaucers!

Franken wins! Finally!

General Motors Corp. is confirming it will use an idled assembly plant in Orion Township, Mich., and a parts stamping facility in Pontiac, Mich., to build small and compact cars, a move expected save 1,400 jobs.

GM confirmed the plant selection in a statement Friday, but said the decision is dependent on the outcome of negotiations between the company and the state on incentives.

Ya’ know what? No, GM. No, you do not get to base your decision on whether or not Michigan gives you “incentives” to use the plant that is sitting there right now, unused. You should not be in a position to bargain. Because here’s what happened: you spent the 80s and 90s moving jobs to Mexico because the incentives outweighed those that you were getting from Michigan. This left Michigan with a lot fewer jobs. Then you went bankrupt, and the U.S. government saved you. And now you’re going to go into a state with 15% unemployment, a state that has nothing, and you’re going to strong arm them into giving you fat tax breaks to replace the jobs that you took away in the first place?

Doesn’t the federal government have a stake in this now? Shouldn’t they be able to look at GM’s proposal and tell them exactly what they’re going to do? Because when I hear that GM is basing its decision on “incentives,” that sounds to me like they’re just continuing the pattern that got them here in the first place. And ten years down the line, when the incentives aren’t looking quite so good anymore, it’s back to Mexico. I mean, GM will get whatever it wants, because if there’s one thing no politician in Michigan wants, it’s to have to say that he voted against bringing new jobs to the state. I sure wish another industry would pop up there so Michigan could tell GM to take a hike. Meth-dealers, are you listening?

OH MY GOD NOW JEFF GOLDBLUM IS DEAD, TOO?!?

Update: Hooray! Jeff Goldblum is alive again!