The Something Awful forums has a list of the most insignificant video game moments. I particularly like this one, from a game called Captain Novolin:

Note: After posting this, I went to Wikipedia and looked up Captain Novolin. It was a videogame about a superhero with diabetes who has to eat healthy meals to survive. Players earn bonus points by answering trivia questions about diabetes. It sounds like pretty much the most amazing thing ever created.

Pitchfork is the music website that everyone reads but everyone pretends they don’t read. I don’t read it. I might be pretending. People seem to think that it’s the Rolling Stone of the Internet age. I disagree. I don’t think any magazine, traditional or non-, will ever have the kind of impact that Rolling Stone did in its heyday.

In the 60s & 70s, there were two kinds of people: hip and not hip. The hip stood in opposition to the not hip and vice versa. Rolling Stone (and Creem) brought the hip together. Maybe it was easier because there was not as much hip to discuss. Today, the various levels of hipness are just too disparate for any one magazine to collect. Hip people hate hip people and not hip people in equal measures.

But, I obviously wasn’t around in the 60s and 70s, so I can’t say for sure that my rose-colored view of history is correct. Probably, every time period is essentially the same, it just seems different to us because we are different. I’m sure there were plenty of people in the 60s who thought of the Beatles as mainstream bullshit.

Anyway, I thought it would be fun to go to Pitchfork and see which albums received a perfect 10.0 on their rating system and which albums received a 0.0. You can do the same if you like. Here they are:

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OH MY HOLY GOD HOW DOES THIS WOMAN WHO LIVES ON OUR HALL MANAGE TO CLOMP SO HARD EVERY MORNING THAT THE ENTIRE BUILDING SHAKES?!? She’s not a large woman. I’ve spied on her through the window as she clomps by. She must be wearing gold bricks for shoes.

Read Part 1 of my trip to Flagstaff here.

Day three of my exciting adventure in Flagstaff began on a somber note, as we awoke to find the bear had finally given up the ghost.

A few hours later she would be nothing but a leg.

But this was not our concern, as Josh, Ginny and I were headed to the lava tube. Tucked away discreetly in a random Flagstaff forest is the stone entrance to a cave that was once a conduit for molten hot lava. I had seen a picture the day before at Josh’s newspaper and decided that I had to go to it. Little did I know that inside the lava tube, I would discover a painful secret about myself, a secret that’s so explosive and shocking, I must hide it on the next page.

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I was listening to the first Suede album on iTunes today and I happened to glance at the picture in the area where they display the album artwork. Here is what the album cover should look like:

And this is the image that comes up in iTunes:

Not only were Suede forced to change their name to the London Suede on American releases to accommodate the other Suede, but now she/he/it is adding insult to injury by hijacking their iTunes listing. I really, really want to hear “Hit Me With a Hot Note,” though.

Darren Aronofsky’s The Fountain is receiving wildly mixed reviews, the kind of reviews that movies get when they’re too rich and complex to be understood after a single viewing. I saw it last night and have little doubt that it will be hailed in the future as a masterpiece. The movie cemented to me that Aronofksy is the new Kubrick — the only (American) director who can fill a film with intellectually-intense concepts and still keep you riveted by the story.

Many of the glowing reviews I’ve read have used the same expression — “a flawed masterpiece.” That’s a cheap phrase used by critics who admire a movie but want to withhold ultimate judgment until they see how it is received by others. The only flaw I could see is that, as with Kubrick films, the human characters can sometimes seem stilted or hyper-idealized. But to suggest that this is accidental is to assume that Aronofsky doesn’t ultimately know what he’s doing, and the amount of time and care put into every single shot of this film makes it clear to me that Aronofksy deserves the benefit of the doubt.

I wouldn’t recommend The Fountain to everyone. Although the core love story at its center is very accessible and emotionally involving, it is the kind of film that you really have to abandon your cynicism to fully enjoy. I can’t wait to see it again.

Update: In looking through the reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, I came across this brilliant piece of film analysis by Ray Bennett at The Hollywood Reporter:

Early in “The Fountain,” writer-director Darren Aronofsky’s flatulent dissertation on the benefits of dying, someone says, “Death is the path to awe.” Aw, shucks, isn’t that what suicide bombers are led to believe?

Congratulations, Bennett! You have just written the most idiotic two sentences in the history of criticism!

Oh, gadgets. How do you infuse yourselves in my brain, rendering me incapable of any other thoughts? The Nintendo Wii-lust is strong right now, my friends. Particularly since I insist on torturing myself by continually refreshing the Amazon forums, which is filled with parents freaking out about their inability to get the material goods that will finally make their children like them.

Here’s what I’ve learned from the savvy moms and dads of America: Wal-Mart and CompUSA have plenty of product, but if you’re going to buy from them, you have to buy the Wiis as part of a bundle with 6 other products. Which brings your total from $250 to $600. Not my preferred route. Some customers have had success ordering the bundle and then canceling everything except the system. If you want to engage in these kind of high-level shenanigans, you be my guest. Me, I’m using it as an opportunity to develop self-control. The other news is that 2 million units are to be shipped to the US before Christmas. The debate rages as to whether that’s a lot or not many.

Sarah played it in New York and said it was “fun.” She went on a week-long vacation, and the only thing I was interested in hearing about was her video gaming experience. That’s how bad it’s gotten. But I must be calm. I must take deep breaths and tell myself, “it’s going to be okay.”

Damn you, Nintendo. Why can’t you be like any other product and just be available for consumers to purchase?

I am lucky enough to not have back pain. Today, I saw this report in US News and World Report:

If you’re unlucky enough to have a herniated disk, which can cause shooting pains in the legs, your long-term prospect for a healthy recovery is good whether you choose surgery or less invasive treatment like physical therapy, according to a pair of studies published in the Journal of the American Medical Association this week.

I know a few people who say their back pain was cured by reading this book by a guy named Dr. Sarno. Dr. Sarno’s theory is that back disease is created by the mind. I think that’s probably an oversimplification of what he has to say. I’ve never read the book, but I think his idea is compelling, especially in light of this news. What other disease has an equal success rate with surgery as with physical therapy?