British people are so cool I can hardly stand to think about it. This morning, while reading an Important Article about World Events in the Independent, I came across an article which asked the burning question, “What does Jade’s success say about our cultural life?”

“What indeed?” I asked. “And who is Jade?”

Jade, it turns out, is Jade Goody, contestant on the third season of the English version of Big Brother and owner of the most awesome name I’ve ever heard. Jade Goody is, apparently, a cultural phenomenon in England. She became one of the most despised people in the country during her time on the show due to her ignorance and fatness.

After the show was over, she somehow became a bona fide celebrity. She appeared on a ton of other reality shows. She released a best-selling book cleverly entitled My Autobiography. Her perfume (!) Shh… is the 3rd bestselling perfume in England, right after Kylie Minogue and Posh Spice’s signature scents.

Today’s article was inspired by Jade’s return to the Big Brother house during the new season of Celebrity Big Brother with her equally-amazingly named boyfriend, Jack Tweedy. So far, she has caused one dude who I’ve never heard of and actually kinda famous director Ken Russell to run screaming from the house.

I know you’re dying to know what this woman looks like, and I am not one to disappointment my goblins. So here she is: