January 11, 2007

Fergielicious

Filed under: Videos — Jeffrey @ 4:47 pm

I’m fascinated and repelled by Fergie in equal measures. There is something very alien about her, as though she was sent from Mars to inhabit the stereotype of what Americans find attractive, yet they forgot to give her that crucial, nearly imperceptible something that separates the humans from the Martians.

I heard this song on the radio the other day and I think it is pretty much the ultimate representation of the Fergie character made into song-form. Will.i.am, the dude from the Black Eyed Peas who produced this track (and guests in the video and molded Fergie from the clay surrounding Mount Olympus) has painted a master aural portrait of the artist. Just like Fergie, this song is missing something that I can’t put my finger on. Everything about it points to it being a totally catchy pop single, but somehow the negative amount of substance makes me feel as though I’m not actually listening to anything. From the title–(”Fergielicious”??? For real, is that a joke?)–to the bite of “Supersonic” on the verses to the phoned in will.i.am cameo to the strange, unnecessary stutter at the beginning of the second verse, it all seems methodically planned to result in a track that’s as vacant as the Baghdad HoJos.

5 Responses to “Fergielicious”

  1. Mark Says:

    This should probably be in the Best of - music post from yesterday. Fergie is an indie rock goddess.

  2. Comstock Says:

    “My Humps” is the absolute worst song I have heard in years. I think I would rather hear “Smooth” by Santana and Rob Thomas all day long than listen to “My Humps” once. I could hate The Black Eyed Peas like I hate The Eagles, if only it weren’t so apparent that The Black Eyed Peas are a totally hollow, new-millennium The Monkeys. For that I allow them some leeway in our age of commercialized throw-aways. Instead, I reserve my hate just for Fergie, because I want my over-marketed pop princesses to be pretty or sexy, and she is neither.

    Your reaction to Fergie is similar to what I used to feel about Kylie Minogue–the first music made for androids by androids. But then she got cancer and it humanized her for me.

  3. sydney Says:

    Everytime I hear that song I think, “I know that sounds exactly like something I listened to in middle school, but what?” The only thing I can come up with is Technotronic, which is obviously not what I am thinking of. Thanks for remembering that it’s Supersonic. The P is for perfection ’cause you know that we are freaks!

    Love,
    Sydney

    PS - You know that she was “Stacy” on Kids Incorporated, right?

  4. Jeffrey Says:

    I do know that. I used to love Kids Incorporated. Just think if the real kids actually got incorporated! What a wonderful corporation that would be!

    Although Fergie steals from “Supersonic,” the real JJ Fadd jam was “Way Out.” If I’m not mistaken, they were put together by MC Hammer to compete with Salt n’ Pepa. Also, if I’m not mistaken, Salt n’ Pepa remains the hip-hop group with the most top 10 hits. I’m not bothering to look either of these facts up on AMG because I don’t really care that much. But please feel free to quote them as though they’re confirmed!

  5. Jeffrey Says:

    Actually, I just looked it up, and I’m completely wrong on both accounts. JJ Fad (no double D) were actually put together by Dr. Dre & DJ Yella from NWA. And there is no truth to the speculation that Salt n’ Pepa have had the most top 10 hits. According to Wikipedia, “Push It” only went to number 19. In fact, their only top 10 hits were “Shoop” (#4) and “Whatta Man” (#3). Of course, when I say “hits” I’m referring to hits on Billboard’s White Music chart, the standard by which all artists are judged. I’m sure they did much better on those other bullshit charts they’ve created for people of other races.

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