I’ve been sent this item from a couple of people, so I thought I should mention it. There’s a cartoon on the Cartoon Network called Aqua Teen Hunger Force. I’ve only seen a couple of episodes, but it’s pretty hilarious. So, they hired this company to do some guerrilla marketing for them. The campaign involved placing Lite Brite-style pictures of one of the characters from the cartoon waving its middle finger around major cities. Apparently these characters would be instantly recognizable to fans of the show.

So the Boston police freaked out, because, in the words of one of the hard-working officers on the case:

“It had a very sinister appearance,” Coakley told reporters. “It had a battery behind it, and wires.”

Battery = not sinister. Wires = not sinister. Battery and wires? Sinister!

Later, we hear this choice bit of commentary from Boston congressman/marketing expert Ed Markey:

Rep. Ed Markey, a Boston-area congressman, said, “Whoever thought this up needs to find another job.”

Whoever thought this up will find another job, at a much higher salary. Cartoon Network does not give a shit that a handful of Boston police officers were terrified of a blinking cartoon flipping the bird. Cartoon Network cares that your grandmother has now heard of Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Then there’s this critique from police spokeswoman/marketing expert Elaine Driscoll:

Earlier, Boston police spokeswoman Elaine Driscoll called Wednesday’s incidents “a colossal waste of money.”

It might be in poor taste. I do believe the marketers should consider the fact that people are totally idiotic when it comes to terror. And, just because it’s an interesting ad for a cool product, it’s still an ad, and anything that contributes to me seeing more advertising as I walk down the street is not to be condoned. But never, in a gazillion years, could you say that it was “a colossal waste of money.” This was the smartest money Cartoon Network ever spent. True, you have lost the Elaine Driscoll audience. But something tells me she wasn’t really in the target demographic.

In the end, two dudes were arrested:

Peter Berdovsky, 27, a freelance video artist from Arlington, Massachusetts, and Sean Stevens, 28, were facing charges of placing a hoax device in a way that results in panic, as well as one count of disorderly conduct, said Massachusetts Attorney General Martha Coakley. The hoax charge is a felony, she said. Both men were arrested Wednesday evening.

I’m not sure what role these guys played in the whole thing. If they’re the heads of the marketing company (Interference, Inc.) then that’s one thing. They may just be on the Aqua Teen Hunger Force street team, which would be pretty shitty. “Join our street team! Get a free t-shirt! Go to prison!”

I guess the thing that bothers me the most about this story is that people in this country are so unbelievably ignorant, they believe that terrorists put cute little designs on their bombs. I mean, look. I believe in being ever-vigilant, and I thank the police for showing concern about our well-being. I know they have a difficult job, what with the 75,000 terrorist attacks that have occurred in this country since 9/11. But couldn’t someone out there train these dudes to recognize the difference between “bomb” and “not bomb”? Crudely assembled pipe filled with fertilizer and strange wires=possible bomb. Glowing sign of cartoon character giving the middle finger=not bomb.

(Kevin Elbert, who was one of the people who sent me this article, has a really amazing company that designs and sells limited-edition colored vinyl EPs. Throw him some money, please.)

Update: The dudes who terrified a nation held a hilarious and bizarre press conference today in which they tried to direct the topic of conversation to their haircuts. The press is not happy about it. I’m really happy that the media has got their priorities straight. I’m sure we can all agree that these guys are the real enemy. It’s about time journalists learned how to speak truth to power.