From the dude who will forever be known as Britney’s 55 hour husband:

Jason Alexander told the Sunday Mirror of London that Spears almost died due to a fatal “MDMA” overdose while they partied in Las Vegas. After seeing the pop star was having trouble breathing and wasn’t coherent, he says he took her to their hotel room and threw her in the shower.

“I remember looking down at her all crumpled in the tub with the water coming down. She looked so white and lifeless. I thought she was dead. I thought, ‘This b- - - - is going to f- - - - - - die right here in front of me,’” Alexander said.

Three things:

1. I wonder how many people look at the word b followed by 4 dashes and somehow feel safer from the evils of the world? God doesn’t care if you fill in the letters in your mind, but if they’re actually typed out, there’ll be hell to pay.

2. Wasn’t this dude supposed to be one of her oldest friends? So the first thing her oldest friend thinks when Britney is lying on the floor, apparently dead, is “this bitch is going to fucking die on me”? What class! No wonder she’s so f- - - - - up.

3. I didn’t know she married Jason Alexander!