Federal prosecutors are seeking a gag order on DC-based Madam Deborah Palfrey who was busted for “money laundering”:

. . . government lawyers claim that some discovery documents contain “personal information” about Palfrey’s former johns and prostitutes that is “sensitive.”

As soon as I read that, I thought, “this is a case for JeffreyDinsmore.com, facilitator of valuable political information-learning!” I got on the phone with some of my friends in the prostitution biz, and an hour later, I had this super-secret extra sensitive document that I will now present to you.

Good prostitutes, as we all know, take extensive notes on their repeat clients so that they can be recognized by newly turned-out hoes. Below is an explosive bulleted list of these notes, taken directly from Palfrey’s notebook, which proves that this scandal has poked its moist tentacles into the upper-reaches of our government:

• Dennis Hastert: Fat. Pasty. Grimacey.
• Barack Obama: Inexperienced, but well-intentioned.
• George Bush: Not bright. Likes to play “horsey.”
• Dick Cheney: Old. Terrifying. Make no sudden movements. His eyes are equipped with flesh-disintegrating laser beams.
• Clarence Thomas: Will put his pubels (sic) on your Coca-Cola.

Someone call The Capitol Steps! This shit is priceless!