Camille Paglia wrote a column on Salon today in which she announced that she is a global warming skeptic. I don’t read her very often because her writing makes me feel really dumb. Salon readers are outraged, which I assume was her intention. Here’s a reader comment to the piece that I think is the best thing I’ve ever read by anyone ever:

On a scale of 1 to intelligent, I give you a “bumblefucking nuts”.

Gahahahahhahhh what is wrong with this freaking country?!? From the Boston Globe:

Obama’s silence on Imus alarms some blacks

Not until Monday evening, five days after Imus’s comments were uttered and hours after CBS Radio and MSNBC announced a two-week suspension for the radio host, did Obama weigh in, saying in a statement: “The comments of Don Imus were divisive, hurtful, and offensive to Americans of all backgrounds.” Obama did not address whether he thought Imus should be taken off the air.

OH MY GOD!!! HEAD FOR THE FUCKING HILLS!!! A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE REFUSES TO SCORE EASY POLITICAL POINTS BY COMMENTING ON A COMPLETELY NON-CONTROVERSIAL CONTROVERSY!!!

Seriously. Who listens to Imus? I defy anyone who reads this blog to tell me when and where his show plays.

But that’s not even the point. The point is that “some blacks” are probably alarmed about a lot of things. I find that headline way more offensive than anything Imus had to say. This is what’s known as “creating the news you’re reporting.”

And I would be more alarmed if Obama did have a strong opinion on Imus’s comments. Even if, even if the dude is a flaming racist, his unfunny radio show has exactly ZERO impact on race relations in this country. Should he be fired? Dude, his employers can do whatever they want. Sure, fire him. One less moron on the radio. But I strongly believe that someone running for president should be concerned with bigger issues than whether or not Don Imus feels bad for calling someone “nappy-headed.” Kudos to Barack Obama for not giving a shit.

Update: Oops, I spoke too soon.

In an interview with ABC News Wednesday afternoon, Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., called for the firing of talk radio host Don Imus. Obama said he would never again appear on Imus’ show, which is broadcast on CBS Radio and MSNBC television.

“I understand MSNBC has suspended Mr. Imus,” Obama told ABC News, “but I would also say that there’s nobody on my staff who would still be working for me if they made a comment like that about anybody of any ethnic group. And I would hope that NBC ends up having that same attitude.”

Well, there it is. I’m glad this dangerous societal menace is being handled.

Today, Salon asks the question: “Is voting for Sanjaya subversive?” Here’s one response by Todd Gitlin:

Is it ’subversive’ to vote for Sanjaya? It’s fun, and defensible — which ought to be enough to justify a minor activity. In a tiny way, it twists the pseudo-democracy of a media-saturated universe. But subversive? Any more subversive than not watching the show? It would seem to me more ’subversive’ to apply the precious minutes you would have spent watching ‘American Idol’ lobbying for universal healthcare, or against mindless war spending. I note, by the way, that the VoteForTheWorst.com, yes-on-Sanjaya campaign accepts the premise that voting for singers is a worthy activity. Thus: ‘Many good people are turned away and many bad singers are kept around to see Simon, Paula and Randy so that America will be entertained.’ Fine, but please don’t tell me that there’s anything ’subversive’ about the goal of ‘making a more entertaining show.’

Thanks for your commentary, douche! What an ass. No one asked him to define the word “subversive.” Just for the record: Todd Gitlin is a media critic. He makes his living looking way too deeply at phenomena like American Idol. And then he critiques people for watching television. Like, it’s okay for him to watch TV, because he’s viewing it through the correct lens, but the rest of us need to be guided by a genius like him. This paragraph is all I need to know about Todd Gitlin to officially proclaim him a hypocritical dick licker.

Now, this does not mean that I care one iota about someone’s motivation behind voting for an American Idol candidate. Yes, in a perfect world, people would take as much joy in the political process as they do in Idol. But why would you say that in response to a question by a media critic about a media phenomenon? I wonder how much time Todd Gitlin has spent “lobbying for universal healthcare.”

Does anyone else have any stories about this pompous douchebag? I know I’ve seen his name before, although I can’t remember where.

Update: And then we have Greil Marcus, author of the intensely amazing Lipstick Traces: A Secret History of the 20th Century:

“The notion of controversy over people voting for the guy whose hair stands up assumes that the previous winners are not national embarrassments.”

Now that’s a guy I want critiquing my media for me. Ha! Calling the winners of American Idol “national embarrassments”! Too, too awesome.

Jarvis Cocker, lead-singer of one of my favorite bands, Pulp, has a solo album out. It’s quite good. That has nothing to do with what I’m posting, which is this:

Pitchfork: You enjoyed a few years of being a working musician and songwriter rather than a public figure and having to go through this promotional cycle. Have you enjoyed swinging back into this process, having your name in lights and on a record?

Jarvis Cocker: Because I haven’t done it for a while, I’ve been able to kind of appreciate it. But I’ve been leading quite a domestic existence for the past four years. To think of going out on tour and stuff like that actually seems quite a good laugh; compared to child care, it’s easy. So it’s been interesting, you know, like, a couple years ago I went to the Brit Awards for the first time in 11 years, and–

Pitchfork: They didn’t invite you back right away I guess?

Jarvis Cocker: No, but, it’s just kind of– sorry, I’m eating a bit of chocolate now, keeping the blood-sugar levels up. Is that a big craze in America?

Pitchfork: Chocolate?

Jarvis Cocker: No, people in England have developed this massive obsession with blood-sugar levels.

British rock stars sit around eating chocolates and trying to keep their blood-sugar levels up. I love them.

Update: I just got to the end of the interview, and he’s still eating!

I feel I’ve got a vague idea of what I’d like to do next. But I haven’t done it yet, so it’s pretty hard to talk about it, I suppose.

Sorry, I’ve been eating a lot of nuts during that.

Pitchfork: I was worried it had been 45 minutes of nothing but chocolate.

Jarvis Cocker: No, I’ve moved on to almonds. Have you been feeling sick through the whole interview then, thinking he’s laid there…

Pitchfork: Right, you’re on the couch with bon bons or a box of Milk Tray talking about your sluggish output.

Jarvis Cocker: No, I was eating nuts…I’ll dispel that unpleasant image from your mind.

Um.

Cheney contended that al-Qaida was operating in Iraq before the March 2003 invasion led by U.S. forces and that terrorist Abu Musab al-Zarqawi was leading the Iraqi branch of al-Qaida. Others in al-Qaida planned the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks.

“He took up residence there before we ever launched into Iraq, organized the al-Qaida operations inside Iraq before we even arrived on the scene and then, of course, led the charge for Iraq until we killed him last June,” Cheney told radio host Rush Limbaugh during an interview. “As I say, they were present before we invaded Iraq.”

I think the only option left is that Cheney’s completely delusional. I don’t even care about the country anymore … we’re too far gone. I just hope that Mary keeps him away from the baby.

All right, I haven’t seen a lot of American Idol this year, so before I begin, let me say that I have no idea what I’m talking about. That being said, I must say that this whole uproar about Sanjaya is pretty interesting to me. It seems to have become conventional wisdom that he has no talent. From what I’ve heard, this isn’t true. The kid can sing just fine. Maybe he can’t do Christina Aguilera-esque vocal gymnastics, but I’m sure he’s just as talented vocally as any member of any number of crappy boy bands.

I think the ridicule that’s being directed toward him is the latest manifestation of a longtime American preoccupation: the hatred of the sissy. He’s the kind of kid to whom everyone in America can feel superior. He’s an easy target. And it’s fascinating to me that when someone is on television, there is this presumption that they are no longer real people … when Jay Leno’s making fun of him for being effeminate, does he give a shit that the kid’s only 17 and (pretty obviously) self-conscious? Or am I being too sensitive? Is that just the trade-off for wanting to be famous?

From the AP:

“It’s time the self-appointed strategists on Capitol Hill understood a very simple concept: You cannot win a war if you tell the enemy you’re going to quit,” Vice President Dick Cheney said Monday at a fundraising luncheon for Sen. Jeff Sessions, R-Ala.

Does anyone ever point out that we’re technically not at war with Iraq?