Some Things That Are Never Funny
1. Anything “from Hell.”
2. Anything “on acid.”
3. Talking in a Yoda voice.
4. Invoking the words “proceeded to” to draw out the story and (theoretically) heighten its comic effect. I.E. “So Crispin and I proceeded to drive the car all the way to the car wash where the car wash guys proceeded to wash it, and that is why my radio doesn’t work. Isn’t that a hilahrious story?”
5. Ethnic cleansing.
August 21st, 2007 at 10:17 pm
I have to disagree, Dinsmore. Whenever I hear someone begin a story with “back when I was on acid this one time” I think it is hilari-fuckin-ous. Really, acid! Come on- it was the the drug of choice when acid washed jeans were also in style. And they, no doubt about it, were cool.
Acid is funny. You are right about Yoda, though.
August 22nd, 2007 at 6:31 am
Ethnic cleansing is not funny at all, but full-on genocide is hysterical.
Also not funny:
Workplace situation comedies set in television news rooms.
Family situation comedies that feature a fat or tubby man with an improbably hot wife.
August 22nd, 2007 at 9:05 am
#1 - Okay, I should clarify that. People on acid are hilarious. People who say “this is like Mr. Rogers … on acid!” or “you look like James Brown … on acid!” are not.
#2 - Mary Tyler Moore is pretty damn funny.
August 24th, 2007 at 5:10 am
Ethnic cleansing is quite funny, given the right laugh track.
August 24th, 2007 at 6:22 am
No, fools. What makes ethnic cleansing funny is the way you mutilate the bodies. For example, you can cut out a man’s tongue and put it in his own butt.