September 27, 2007

Rather Awesome

Filed under: Politics — Jeffrey @ 9:27 am

Sidney Blumenthal has a good story about the Dan Rather lawsuit today on Salon. I haven’t seen the “mainstream” coverage of this lawsuit, but I’ve heard tell that it’s being painted as sour grapes. I guess the $70 million figure is a little hard to swallow. People in America don’t like to see people with a lot of money asking for a lot more money. Which is understandable, but in this case, the money seems like it’s more of a red herring than anything. The lawsuit is about the principles of journalism. This part gets me geeked up:

In making his case, Rather will certainly establish beyond reasonable doubt that George W. Bush never completed his required service in the Texas Air National Guard. Moreover, Rather’s suit will seek to demonstrate that the documents used in his “60 Minutes II” piece were not inauthentic and that he and his producers acted responsibly in presenting them and the information they contained — and that that information is true. Indeed, no credible source has refuted the essential facts of the story.

Most cases of this sort are usually settled before discovery. But Rather has made plain that he is uninterested in a cash settlement. He has filed his suit precisely to be able to take depositions.

Sadly, what I want to see will probably never happen. I want Dan Rather to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that George Bush lied about his time in the national guard. Then I want George Bush, Dick Cheney, and Karl Rove to be thrown in prison for the rest of their lives. I want a law passed called “The We-Told-You-So Act” which would give all of us who knew Bush was lousy from the beginning the right to call all those who voted for him up at any hour of the day and say “I told you so”. I want to require every American to take a class called Recognizing the Obvious in which they will learn to notice the sorts of contradictions in behavior and appearance that can give clues to personality, such as “born in Connecticut to wealthy family/son of former president” (is not equal to) “salt-of-the-earth Texas cowboy” or “mispronounces every other word” (does not equal) “capable of making Americans appear reasonable”. I would like to require a complete list of the administration’s mistakes hung from every government office in the country, underneath a placard reading “Never Forget.” Finally, I would like Bush to be granted work release to personally supervise the Mission to Mars program he announced in his 2004 State of the Union address, and I would like him to be the test pilot for the rocket that he will be required to engineer and build with his own two hands.

Barring that, it would at least be nice if someone would acknowledge that Dan Rather’s story was correct. The whole fake document thing always sounded incredibly fishy to me. If you’ll recall, Dan Rather used documents in his story regarding Bush’s suspension from the National Guard that were determined to be fake by right-wing bloggers because the fonts looked wonky. The assumption being that someone went to the trouble of creating a fake memo about Bush’s poor performance in the National Guard, then funneling it through the channels until it got to Dan Rather, all the while covering their trail well enough that no one knew who created the fakes or where they originally came from. I find it more likely that OJ didn’t kill his wife. I know politics is dirty, but I can’t comprehend who would be motivated to do such a thing, or why that explanation seemed more credible to most Americans than the belief that Bush is a lazy, spoiled rich kid who used his father’s influence to avoid fighting in Vietnam and then used his powers of sloth to avoid his avoidance. If we had all studied up in our Recognizing the Obvious class as required by the United States of Me, we could have saved CBS News a lot of money and trouble.

September 26, 2007

Just in Time!

Filed under: Politics — Jeffrey @ 10:07 am

From DailyKos:

Speaking at the National Press Club Tuesday evening, CBS “Evening News” anchor Katie Couric pulled back the curtain on her personal views of both the war in Iraq and former “Evening News” anchor Dan Rather.

“Everyone in this room would agree that people in this country were misled in terms of the rationale of this war,” said Couric, adding that it is “pretty much accepted” that the war in Iraq was a mistake.

“I’ve never understood why [invading Iraq] was so high on the administration’s agenda when terrorism was going on in Afghanistan and Pakistan and that [Iraq] had no true connection with al Qaeda.”

Further, Couric said the Bush administration botched the war effort, calling it “accepted truths” that it erred by“disbanding the Iraq military, and leaving 100,000 Sunni men feeling marginalized and angry…[and] whether there were enough boots on the ground, the feeling that we’d be welcomed as liberators and didn’t need to focus as much on security.” She added “I’d feel totally comfortable saying any of that at some point, if required, on television.”

“Katie, the country has been lied to! We’re about to go to war based on false information! What’s more, we don’t really have any plans or goals once we get there!”

“I know! It sucks!”

“You are the host of the highest-rated morning show in the country! Millions of Americans turn to you as their only source of information! You must use your power of influence to guide your fellow countrymen away from this devastating mistake!”

“Is that a requirement, or just a request?”

To be fair to Couric, I am now and always have been astonished that anyone placed confidence in George Bush or his posse, and I suspect that if you were misguided enough to believe that going to war in Iraq was a good idea than fact-based reasoning may not be your forte. Still, she could have tried. She had a pretty big soapbox. And to say that she would make her views known if “required” to is akin to a fireman refusing to save a baby from a burning building because it wasn’t specifically mentioned in his contract.

September 25, 2007

Money in the Bank

Filed under: Videos — Jeffrey @ 1:36 pm

I’m a little behind the loop, so I just finally watched the Leave Britney Alone video. What is most fsacinating about this “story” is that this imbecile has achieved minor celebrity status. I heard him mentioned on Bill Maher the other night. He’s being flown around the country to hang out at art openings and wear free jewelry. This is God’s little way of saying to all of us who are struggling to eke out a meager existence: “Stop trying.”

September 24, 2007

Your Real Age

Filed under: Knowledge — Jeffrey @ 6:32 pm

I love things on the Internet that encourage me to not change anything about myself. This dealy supposedly calculates your real age based on questions about your lifestyle. According to this, I am actually 16.9 years old and I will live to be 89.1. I am hoping I will be able to use this information to my advantage when To Catch a Predator finally comes a’ knockin.

September 20, 2007

Celebrate Good Times

Filed under: Knowledge — Jeffrey @ 2:21 pm

I finally finished a writing project yesterday that had been consuming my time and my sanity for the past 3 months. During that time, there have been many moments when I have almost reached for the seductive comfort of the blog, only to realize that blogging does not pay for the extreme sports lessons and jars of airplane glue that get me through the day. Now that the project is over, perhaps I will have a few more moments to spare in between huffing and “skyaking”.

To make up for my absence, I will show you the Best Thing You Have Ever Seen, courtesy of Neatorama:

kenadie brianne door

Meet Kenadie Jourdin-Bromley. This is not a trick photo. This 4 year-old girl has a genetic condition called “primordial dwarfism”, a condition that supposedly only affects about 100 people in the world. She is never expected to grow more than 30 inches tall or weigh more than 8 pounds.

There are a ton of pictures on her website. I spent about 2 hours yesterday looking at them all, and now I pass the gift of the Littlest Angel on to you.

When I showed this site to Sarah, her first response was, “I want one!”

Update: I just followed a link at the bottom of Kenadie’s site to Gary Parker Photography, where there is a gallery of people with primordial dwarfism. I started to get really excited about the topic and went to register the url primordialdwarfism.com, only to discover it already exists. According to this site, it is totally kosher to refer to people with primordial dwarfism as “primordials.”

I also learned that the LPA (Little People of America) are having a convention in Detroit in 2008. I am a full-sized man, and I would not spend a week in Detroit. I salute these little people for their bravery and heroism.

September 17, 2007

Batch 2

Filed under: LA — Jeffrey @ 9:01 am

Since no one gave me any advice, I had a terrible time. We ended up sitting around my apartment, refreshing my browser every minute in the hopes that someone would post and tell us where to go. Thank god it’s over and I can go back to my normal routine of not writing anything.

September 14, 2007

Batch

Filed under: LA — Jeffrey @ 9:14 am

Tomorrow is my Bachelor Party. Does anyone have any advice?

September 9, 2007

The Truth, With Diagrams

Filed under: Fun Stuff — Jeffrey @ 8:03 pm

See here.

September 3, 2007

Divisive Politics

Filed under: Politics — Jeffrey @ 5:34 pm

From the AP:

Democrat Barack Obama on Monday sharpened his critique of lead rival Hillary Rodham Clinton, warning against a return to “divisive, special interest politics” that had demoralized the country even before President Bush took office.

Isn’t the act of attacking your rival in and of itself divisive? Barack seems like an OK Joe, I just feel like this comment could have been taken from any candidate running for any office in any party since parties and offices and candidates were invented.

 
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