I don’t know what to say about Heath Ledger’s death. He’s one of the few celebrities I didn’t know personally. He seemed like an all right guy, though, and I’m looking forward to seeing him play the Joker. I will say this: it must really suck to be related to a dead celebrity. There are videos all over the internet of his body bag being carried out of his apartment. I can’t imagine why someone would want to watch a video of a random, unidentified body bag on a stretcher. And also, bad writers are allowed to eulogize you:

The cause of Heath Ledger’s death, at age 28, on Jan. 22 is still unknown, but the circumstances — naked, near pills — paint a tragic last picture of a man who had an uncanny talent for playing tragic people.

Near pills! That’s brilliant. The last time I checked, it was ok to be naked in your own apartment and to be in the vicinity of pills. Especially if he had pneumonia, as some reports have said. Thank God I will never be famous enough for anyone to care how I sleep. Chances are they’ll find me clutching my stuffed monkey. “Naked and near monkey,” the police report will read.