I’m writing a spelling book for kids right now, in case anyone wonders why I haven’t been in better touch. It’s a 250 page book in which my advice basically boils down to this: memorize the order of the letters in words. How much more can you say about spelling?

Here are some recent film recommendations to fill your time while you’re anxiously awaiting my return:

Chalk: Mockumentary about new high school teachers. They shot the film over 3 weeks in a Texas school using the kids who really went to the school. My dad watched it and said, “Ya know, that was probably fine for a small budget film, but it really wasn’t a very good movie.” So take your chances with this one.

The King of Kong: Documentary about a guy trying to beat the high score on Donkey Kong and the unbelievable amount of trouble he has to go through to be recognized. This one’s a crowd-pleaser … I don’t need to attach any caveats.

Pennies from Heaven: Bizarre musical from the 80s starring Steve Martin and Bernadette Peters. Excellent dancing.

Smiley Face: Stoner flick. I could not stop laughing, but I would only recommend it for people who think marijuana-instilled paranoia is really hilarious.

Wild Zero: Japanese rock and roll zombie movie that puts Rock n’ Roll High School to shame. You must have a high tolerance for camp to appreciate it.