Conventional wisdom has become that Hillary won Texas and Ohio because of her 3 AM ad. The ad talked about a situation in the White House in which some kind of crisis was unfolding at 3 AM, and implied that Hillary would be a better person to answer the phone at that time of day. First of all, I don’t know how they determine that this ad, in particular, swayed a lot of voters. Second of all, if you were swayed by this ad, you are a complete moron. “I was going to vote for Barack, but then I thought about him waking up at 3 o’ clock in the morning and having to make a decision about something and I determined that Hillary would be better at doing that.” How does that make any sense? What proof have we seen that Hillary Clinton is better at solving problems in the middle of the night?

I know, the time of day wasn’t really the point. The point was that she’s met a bunch of scary Muslim leaders and therefore she’d be better at dealing with them if they decided to bomb us than Obama. I guess because they didn’t allow Obama to meet anyone from other countries when he was in the Senate, and women have traditionally received a lot of respect from Middle Eastern rulers.

My entire office building smells like shampoo right now and it’s driving me bonkers.