I have lived with this secret for far too long, and I feel it is time to come clean. I am obsessed with this poster:

Now, I’m not obsessed with the movie Mamma Mia. That would just be weird. Nor am I obsessed with the actress in the poster, Amanda Seyfried. She played a dead chick on Veronica Mars and I always thought she looked like a creepy alien with fetal alcohol syndrome. But for some reason, I cannot stop thinking about this poster.

This poster is almost scientifically designed to appeal to men’s animal instincts. The hopeful look in her eyes. The ecstatic smile. The vulnerable pose. The watery background. The dress that looks like it’s just barely hanging on. This poster is aimed squarely at men whose only reason to ever go see this movie would be the hopes that there might be a scene of a vulnerable chick wearing a white wedding dress in a waterfall. If they were advertising to women, the poster would simply read “Abba musical” in gigantic block letters, and leave it at that.

They won’t fool me, though. There is no way the actual movie could ever live up to this image. I have no need to see the film Mamma Mia!, but if they ever make a movie called Mamma Mia!: The Poster — the Movie! I will be first in line.