Joe the Plumber spoke yesterday at a McCain rally. First, John McCain introduced him at a rally and he wasn’t actually there. He was probably out somewhere getting his plumb on. Quoth McCain:

“Joe, where are you? Is Joe here with us today?” Mr. McCain said. “Joe, I thought you were here today. All right, well, you’re all Joe the Plumber.”

Which, incidentally, has got to be among the dumbest political campaigns I’ve ever seen. The “I am Michael Jordan” ads worked because Michael Jordan exemplifies hard work, perseverance, and sweet jump shots. The only thing I can see that Joe the Plumber exemplifies is not wanting to pay slightly higher taxes on a business that you might own some day.

Later in the day, in Sandusky (home of Cedar Point, the finest amusement park in the world), he managed to show up and grace the crowd with his political insights.

“Don’t listen to talk show hosts. Don’t sit there and listen to the papers. I mean, get out there and get the information. Learn it. I mean, the facts are out there. Once you find out the facts, they become quite obvious.”

I couldn’t agree more. Talk shows and newspapers are no place to find facts. The best place to find out facts is out there. Just get out of the house and go find those facts! They’re out there! You’re a fool if you can’t see them! And once you do see the facts, they become obvious! “Obviously,” you will say, once you’ve found them, “these are facts that I’ve found.” Why would they be called facts if they weren’t facts?

And as a bonus, here’s something just awesome that I discovered when searching for “Joe the plumber.” There’s another plumber, a real plumber, who calls himself Joe the Plumber. On the front page of his website, he has this to say:

Since the debate Wednesday between John McCain and Barrack Obama, I have received: 302,852 hits on my website, over 300 phone calls, and hundreds of e-mails. I have been interviewed for several publications and appeared on Television 4 times, interviewed for the Radio 3 times, made the cover of the Local newspaper twice and met a lot of great people, many of which flattered me by asking for autographs.

Peace!
Joe Lara

Please be advised that I am NOT the unlicensed Plumber from Ohio who was mentioned over 20 times in Wednesdays Debate.

This is why America is the best country in the world. A guy who has a similar URL to a guy who asked a question of a candidate at a campaign rally can become a minor celebrity. Joe Lara, welcome to the American dream!

Also, please note that if you type the word “plumber” enough times in a row, it starts to look very strange.