Ya know, the more I’m thinking about this financial bailout thing, the more I’m becoming super ultra paranoid that what we’re about to witness is a bloodless coup. I just can’t wrap my head around why they would ask for $700 billion (and how did they come up with that figure?) with no oversight. And they asked for it IMMEDIATELY, like they knew exactly what was going to happen and they were standing there with a plan. Sort of like how Bush & Cheney’s first instinct after 9/11 was “Hot damn! We’re going to Iraq!”

In the comments, Harmon suggested that they’re asking for more than they can get, much like you or I would go into a job interview with a higher salary figure than we imagined would be possible. And I think that would be a perfectly plausible explanation for an administration that hasn’t shown themselves, over the last 8 years, to be utterly unconcerned with precedent or consensus. That niggling little bit of faith I was referring to yesterday? Banish it! I know that you never get anywhere by comparing people to Nazis, but what if it’s true? What if the Bush administration has known for some time that this crisis was coming, and they’ve engineered it so they can privatize our economy and steal the election in one fell swoop?

But things are looking good for Obama! you say. Well, maybe, if you think elections are decided by things as trifling as votes. I’m not a genius here. I don’t know how they’re going to steal it. But I do find it awfully suspicious that the worst economic disaster in 70 years is happening a few weeks before we fire the administration that has repeatedly shown contempt for the rule of law and who has been elected twice under questionable circumstances. That little bit of niggling faith … let’s call it “optimism” … makes us think that maybe, possibly, all the recklessness of the last 8 years has been an unhappy accident. But what I see, when I look at the vast overview, is an administration and party that has spent eight years angling to take control of every branch of government. Why should we assume this is any different?

Since the fallout began last week, I’ve been hearing repeatedly that this is the worst economic disaster to happen to our country since the Great Depression, IF NOT worse. Think about that. There isn’t a person reading this who didn’t grow up in mortal terror of the Great Depression. We’ve all seen the pictures of how bad things got during those days. People weren’t sitting around in front of 47” TVs during the Great Depression … they were living in tin shacks and eating dirt. This is just the beginning. You’re not affected right now, but chances are strong a good percentage of us will lose our jobs because of this mess. My office partner’s 401K went from $1200 to $400 in one month. That’s just the beginning. Mom and Dad? I would suggest withdrawing your retirement funds right now and sticking them under your mattress.

I feel totally unprepared for the reality of what’s about to happen to the country. I haven’t seen any advice telling me how we can help on this matter, but as soon as I do, I’ll post it. I’m convinced that this is a defining moment in history, and simply saying we’ll vote the bums out of office in November isn’t going to be enough.

And I don’t think we should have a lick of faith that our tough-talking Senators are going to have an of impact. I don’t know why everyone seems convinced that this is the moment when Congress is going to really stand up for the rights of ordinary Americans. Oh, heavens! Finance Officials Face Wary Lawmakers! Our lawmakers are “wary” at the thought of turning over complete control of our economy to a bunch of psychotics! Could someone please send me an example of them doing anything in my best interest of the course of the last 8 years? Or an example of Congress standing up to Bush when he asks them for something? For fuck’s sake, we have spent the last 6 years debating whether inflicting unyielding pain and psychological stress on prisoners can legally be considered torture! Here’s your debate, Congress: YES! THAT IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF TORTURE, YOU ASS-GOBBLING MORONS!!!

For some reason, the biggest sticking point in Congress’s view seems to be whether the CEOs of these companies will be allowed to walk away with “golden parachutes.” I totally agree with Kos: the “golden parachute” issue is the absolute least of our worries. It’s a total red herring, and I don’t believe the administration gives a rat’s ass about it, either. Newsflash: these executives aren’t going to become minimum wage workers overnight. If they walk away with $10 million instead of $40 million, it’s not going to make a bit of impact on anyone’s life. It’s a shell game. The administration will cave on golden parachutes, the Democrats will declare victory, social security and medicare will go away, and we’ll all lose our life savings. But hey! The president of Goldman Sachs only got $10 million!

Of course, for those of you are about to jump out the window after reading this, please note that I could be totally paranoid and wrong. If you’ll notice, I went to great pains to avoid things like “facts” and “information” in this post. If you’re interested in knowing a bit more information before you sign up to join the Michigan militia, please see here, here, and here.