Dear “Friends”:

It’s Christmas time, and guess what? You owe me a present! Something that costs about $9 should be just fine. Let me think, what could you get me? Wait, I know! You could come to my CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR PROGRAM on FRIDAY, DECEMBER 19TH at the legendary RAINBOW BAR & GRILL in WEST HOLLYWOOD!!!

Actually, now that I think about it, that would actually be a gift that you give to YOURSELF. And a Jeffrey D. show is a gift that keeps on giving, long after you’d like it to stop.

You don’t want to miss this one, kids … in addition to the good old Jeffrey D. classics, I will also be playing a handful of ORIGINAL CHRISTMAS SONGS to welcome the holiday season. Bring your chestnuts … ‘CAUSE WE’RE GONNA SET THIS PLACE ON FIIIIIIIRE!!!!

Details:
Jeffrey D. at the Rainbow (upstairs)
Friday, December 19th
8:45 PM

The Rainbow
9015 W. Sunset Blvd.
next to the Roxy
West Hollywood, CA 90069
$9

Bring your friends … even the ugly ones!

And here’s a special Christmas song I won’t be playing: Downsized for Christmas.

Popularity: 19% [?]

Tonight I will once again be providing the citizens of Los Angeles with an excuse to abandon their self-control for 1/2 an hour at the Pig n’ Whistle in Hollywood. Please join me there PROMPTLY at 9:00 for some good old fashioned spooky Halloween hits. Details:

Jeffrey D. at the Pig N’ Whistle
Thursday, October 23rd
9:00 PM
6714 Hollywood Blvd.
$9

For your listening pleasure, here’s a little tune I will NOT be playing tonight, because my tiny accordion is busted and I no longer tour with a 12-piece orchestra. And that’s a shame, because this is a Halloween themed show, and this is the only actual Halloween song I’ve ever written.

Scary Old World

Popularity: 15% [?]

As my two regular visitors know, I played the Pig n’ Whistle the other night in Hollywood. It was a smash success, and by that, I mean no one was injured. (Permanently injured, I should say … there were a few minor cuts and scrapes, but that’s what happens to homeboys who walk a little too close to my switchblade.)

Pasted below are videos from 6 of the 9 songs. The quality is not spectacular, but the heart is there. Also: please know that my songs sometimes have dirty words in them. Hopefully no one will find this too shocking.

Here they are, then, in the order in which they were played:

Family Affair

Sea Monster Theme

When Do I Get to Be on TV?

Gay Roommate

Punk Rock Girl

Jeffrey D. Music

Popularity: 11% [?]

My oft-delayed, long-promised show is finally, shockingly, happening tomorrow at the Pig n’ Whistle in Hollywood. If you live in town and aren’t there, I will have no choice but to conclude that you is a sucker. I’m talking to you, Griffin Dunne.

Details:
Jeffrey D. rocks the Pig N’ Whistle
Saturday, August 30th
9:15-10:15 PM
6714 Hollywood Blvd.
$9

BUT THAT’S NOT ALL!

As a special bonus treat to all of you great friendlies who are kind enough to read my blog, I’ve posted a special sneak preview of the BRAND NEW SONG that I’m going to be playing tomorrow. This is the first non-wedding related song I’ve written in a long time, and I’m pretty excited about it. I wrote it because I have a lot of friends who are having kids lately, and my music tends to be a little on the dirty side. I thought they deserved a song that the whole family could enjoy together. So without further ado, I present to you:

Family Affair

Popularity: 22% [?]

Sometimes life sneaks up and surprises you when you least expect it. Last Wednesday I had to work from home because my Internet was down at the office. Basically, I sat on my couch for the whole day, trying to ignore the magical world wide web, which is constantly hypnotizing me with its powerful Siren wail. At the end of the day I was feeling unproductive and lazy and gross. So I said to myself, “you must take destiny into your own hands, me. You must do something you would not normally do, and you must do it now.”

What I did was play an open mic night. Now, back when I moved out to Los Angeles, one of my intentions was to get back into performing my music. I had developed a somewhat entertaining shtick in New York that I would drag out every now and again, but I really haven’t attempted to play my music for others in a very long time. Tonight, though, I was needing a new challenge, so I found an open mic night not far from my house and did my thing.

The next day, the venue called me and booked me for a show. This will be happening on Saturday, August 23rd, at 9:30 PM at the Pig n’ Whistle in Hollywood. I will be posting more info when the date becomes closer.

In the meantime, I’m leaping headfirst into the 20th Century. I’ve finally put up a new MySpace page with my music, which you can access right here. If you’re a MySpacer, please friend me and send my link to people who might get a kick out of it. And come see me on August 23rd! If this productive streak continues, I may very well be blowing your mind with some BRAND NEW MATERIAL.

Popularity: 14% [?]

Just in time for Christmas, we have the rest of the Christmas with the Flamingos tracks. Some are good, some are crap, all are for you! Merry Christmas, goblins!

Winter Girl: A 6 year-old’s love song to his snow bunny.

Father of the Son of God: A song about Joseph, the most forgotten member of the holy family.

Always Christmas Eve: The idea was that it seems sort of sweet – every day is like Christmas Eve with this guy’s girlfriend – until you realize that Christmas Eve sort of sucks.

It’s Christmas Again: I don’t know how I wrote this song, but I really like it. It’s a song for people who like to get drunk on Christmas.
The Greatest Gift: I think this one is sweet. Jason Madison from Bigboote and the Scurvy Pirates, who played the angry Christmas elf in the stage version of Christmas with the Flamingos, thought it sucked. I love Jason Madison and respect his opinion, so feel free to agree with him.

And, the filler:

For the completists in the crowd, here are two songs that are pretty desperately awful that also appeared on the album. Download at your own risk.

Angels: I don’t do sincere well.

Day Out, Day In: Christmas rap. Bad idea.

For the rest of the Christmas with the Flamingos album, visit my music page! Thanks for listening, and enjoy!

Popularity: 13% [?]

Here are some more Christmas hits! Only 4 shopping days left, kids! Use them wisely!

Christmas with the Flamingos: Christmas with the Flamingos, the play, was about my relationship with a group of stuffed animals who I pretended was my band. The joke was that the stuffed animals were way cooler than me. This song has a really long intro, but I still think it’s pretty cool.

A Most Delicious Christmas: This is a horrible, frightening song about what to do when you find Santa in your living room. It should not be listened to by anyone, ever.

I’m Spending Christmas in Love: With songs this hot, why am I not an internationally recognized superstar? Seriously, can some artist just discover me already and start covering my songs? This living in obscurity bullshit is really starting to get to me.

Popularity: 13% [?]

This is my personal favorite from the Christmas with the Flamingos album. I wanted to write a sweet little Christmas song in which something slightly darker was going on. The narrator is having nice thoughts about kissing a girl under the mistletoe, and then he gets into the reality of his relationship. In retrospect, maybe that was a poor choice. I post, you decide.

Listen to Under the Mistletoe. Right click and highlight “save link as” to add it to your permanent collection.

Popularity: 12% [?]

The second installment of my Christmas with the Flamingos CD. This is the tender story of a vaguely Japanese-sounding squirrel who delivers holiday cheer to children across the globe.

Listen to “Kaburami the Christmas Squirrel“. As always, right click and highlight “save link as” to add to your permanent collection.

Popularity: 12% [?]

I now have a new giant web server with tons of room, so I am going to start putting up all my music. Next up will be the Christmas with the Flamingos album. I recorded this album for my parents and sister a few years ago when I had no money. Here’s one of the popular favorites from the record, “Downsized for Christmas.” Keep checking back for more holiday cheer!

Popularity: 10% [?]