Me: Where have you been, me?

Me: I have been working. Some of us have to work, you know. We can’t hang around the house and write about how the Bush administration is filled with incompetent idiots all the time, much as we would like to.

Me: But don’t you work from home?

Me: Not anymore, sucker! I rent an office. It’s like I actually have a job or something.

Me: What do you do in there all day?

Me: Write about how the Bush administration is filled with incompetent idiots. Only I do it over email, instead of on my blog. One has to communicate with others if one expects to be a successful whatever-it-is-I-do.

Me: Are you ever going to return to us so that we may all enjoy your fierce wit and refreshing honesty again?

Me: I will. I just need some downtime. If you would like to help me do my work, I will write something for you.

Me: No, thank you.

I am in the middle of a ton of freelance work right now and I will not have time to post anything new. It will all be over soon, and I will be back to give you the rest of my Best Of Lists. A little hint at what’s going to be topping the movie list: it’s Children of Men.

The Dinsmore/Cole holidays have been filled with much love, presents, and glorious time spent away from the computer. Now, it is the year 2007. The robot invasion is impending. I finally got my Wii and have had little interest in doing anything that doesn’t involve smacking dragons. Neat things are coming soon, however, as well as an announcement that will send the ladies of the world into a terminal state of despair. Happy New Year, goblins!

First off, let me say that I really hate the word “blog.” I never wanted to refer to this website as a blog, even though that’s exactly what it is. They really could not have come up with a more awkward and negative sounding word to describe personal websites. Say it to yourself — blog. It just sits there like a nasty, smelly lump. After saying the word blog, you really don’t feel like talking anymore. The sky turns grey and chickadees turn into vultures.

The source word from which blog is taken — weblog — is nicer sounding, but a little cold. A computer engineer would create a weblog. “Journal” doesn’t fit the bill either. Online journals are often filled with too much information. I don’t like to open up a friend’s blog and read about how depressed he’s feeling or how he’s been constipated for the last three weeks.

That’s point one: gotta find a name that is not “blog.” Point two is: what am I doing here? The original purpose of putting together this new website was so that I could update it easily. My last website was all hard-coded, and it was a pain in the ass to do anything. Word Press allows me to log on from anywhere in the world and add new things to my site. As a writer, of course, I like writing, and it’s nice to have someplace to put my writing that feels at least slightly more productive than squirreling it away on my hard drive.

But there’s no real theme, which is a problem, especially if I ever hope to grab someone outside of my extended circle of friends. Com$tock’s site has a great theme: science and video games. My theme is “things I find interesting.” And they aren’t even well-hidden things … do you see those sites on the right hand side of the page here? Those are the sites I go to. Boingboing, Salon, Neatorama and HuffPo are pretty much fueling my entire knowledge of all things interesting. You could just bypass the middleman and read those sites yourself, if you were so inclined.

Yet, once you get started, it’s difficult to stop, and once you stop, it’s impossible to get started again. Sarah and I had a blog when we first moved to LA. We stopped. Now, it is sadly lying there in the Blogspot universe like a drunken cow who cannot raise itself back on its feet. For months, people would say, “when are you going to update your blog?” And then you get into the whole trap of having to start each post with an apology for not writing earlier … this is a trap into which I am determined to not fall again. So like it or not, audience or no, I will continue to update this site. It could be something as inconsequential as this post, something that you will get to the end of and say, “why did I take the time to read that?” Or it could be something so monumentally hysterical and life changing that you will shower me with praise and email me off to all your closest friends. The only way to know for sure is to read every damn word I write.

Is that too much information? I don’t even really know anymore. My life has become my blog (for lack of a better term). If all goes according to plan, my entire identity will soon be moved online, and my body will be propped up in a corner somewhere, collecting dust. If you want to interact with me, just visit jeffreydinsmore.com.

I’m working on moving to a new server with a whooole bunch of space for me to put my stupid crap up like music and pictures of squirrels. So bear with me during this awkward transition period, just as you bore with me throughout my teens and twenties.

So, I’ve hated my website for many years. It was ugly, difficult to update, and it contained tons and tons of old, embarrassing content. I’ve spent the last few days putting together a new site that’s easier to manage, and here it is. I doubt anyone will read this, because I’m not really giving anyone the URL. Soon, goblins. Soon.